


Pushed Away

by sadlonelyyogurt



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Catra has issues, Character Study, Childhood Memories, I Don't Even Know, No Proofreading We Die Like Men, Touch-Starved, but don't we all, but in this au adora would have to be like catwoman or something, can i get a yee haw, catra is sad and then shes pissed and bitter, her cape flowing ridiculously in the wind, holy shit u guys know the next fic im writing, i sense my impending doom, i wrote this bitch in comic sans, idk why i just can see her brooding on top of a gargyole, no wait she could be superman, oh no, ya know catra would make a rlly good batman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:27:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23454763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadlonelyyogurt/pseuds/sadlonelyyogurt
Summary: idek... Catra sad boi hours igset somewhere in s1 i think i honestly dont know
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Catra/Her Issues
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Pushed Away

**Author's Note:**

> i got a little carried away with the tags... sorry
> 
> this was originally gonna be some fluffy (or maybe angsty idk) fic featuring like scorpia and entrapta abt catra bein all touch starved and shit cuz i was like that probably happened after adora left but then i pulled this boring ass character study out of my ass and since i can only function when my work gets approval from ppl i dont know on the internet i decided to post it
> 
> and all of this was done as a way of procrastinating from doing the schoolwork ive been assigned during quarantine so

There were scratch marks on the wall. Over the drawing, over Adora’s face, crudely drawn but capturing her stupid, cocky smirk almost perfectly. Just as Catra remembered it.

She wrapped her arms around herself and tried not to feel the chills crawling up and down her spine. She wasn’t even cold- no, she was _warm_ , in fact, a little too warm for her liking. But she felt- she felt deprived. Of something, she wasn’t sure what.

She was just so lonely.

She didn’t understand it. Tried to retrace it. How Adora had found- what? Some stupid sword? In the forest, they’d gone there for some reason… She could barely remember now. They were being rebellious, goofing around like they always had. The stunt they pulled that night was risky, yes, but it wasn’t supposed to end like it had. It seemed impossible, now, how fast everything had crumbled around her. It felt like it had taken a long time, but there was only one decision it could all be linked back to. Taking the skiff and flying to the Whispering Woods. If only she hadn’t been so childish, unable to control her hunger for adventure.

She supposed, however, that if Adora really was a princess it would have happened sooner or later. She would have left Catra all the same. That’s what hurt the most, how Adora never really cared about her in the first place. How Adora had left her so easily, in the clutches of the woman who had abused them both, with barely a second thought.

Adora used to hold her when she had nightmares. Or sometimes they’d hold hands, or play fight or cuddle. All innocent little things, but Catra hadn’t realized how much they meant to her until she didn’t have them anymore.

She pretended not to care. She wished she didn’t care, except here she was, on the verge of tears and wallowing in her own misery. It was so difficult to breath, sometimes, when she got like this. When she was left alone with her thoughts, when she started thinking about everything she’d lost, how it could have all been avoided if she just hadn’t been so _stupid_. If she wasn’t such as fucking screw up.

 _That’s Shadowweaver talking_ , Adora would have said, _Don’t let her get to your head like that_. Except Adora didn’t say that because she wasn’t there, she was off in some beautiful castle covered with gold and diamonds and surrounded by colorful flowers that Catra had never laid eyes upon in her life. Adora wasn’t there to tell her it was okay, she could cry, Adora wasn’t there to pinky swear not to tell anyone about it. So Catra sat in the place up high, not remembering quite when she’s traveled from her bed to there, where she and Adora used to sit when they needed to get away from it all. No one was there to tell her it was okay, and she realized very abruptly that no one would ever be there for her again. She couldn’t rely on Adora to pick up her messes for her because Adora had left her and broken her trust, too.

If there was anything to gain from this experience, it was what she had learned. And she’d learned that she didn’t need Adora. As much as the concept hurt, as much as she didn’t want to have to think about it and instead go back to how things used to be, it was something that was now going to have to be true.

She was going to have to stand up for herself now. Adora may have taken almost everything, but she’d also taught Catra some things. Not to trust, not to feel. She wouldn’t let her guard down anymore, not for anyone to see. And most of all, she’d never rely on anyone, not ever again. She’d stand strong for herself, build a fortress around herself if she had to.

 _Hey Adora_ , she thought, _Thanks for the memories_.

And then she pushed those memories away.


End file.
